Adaptation

Spike Jonze, director. Columbia Pictures, 2005. Starring Nicholas Cage, Meryl Streep, Chris Cooper.

This movie is more than just a movie, it's a dissertation on how NOT to write a screenplay . . . and very aware of the fact. In fact, this movie intentionally does everything wrong in a screenplay and even makes mention of the fact in various aspects of the movie.

This is fantastic, I haven't been so excited by a twist in an art form since I encountered Italo Calvino's If On a Winter's Night a Traveler . . .

If you MUST have basic plot - a screenwriter tries to adapt a novel for the movies, but at the outset he claims that he doesn't want drugs, gun fights, car chases, none of that "Hollywood" crap. But then he finds he CAN'T adapt the damn book, because it's not really a "novel" in the conventional "story" sense, but more of a dissertation about a somewhat interesting character and a lot about plants. Actually, it's a rather hallucinogenic book about wanting to feel rather than actually feeling.

The best part of the movie is that the so-called "artiste" has a twin brother who, on a complete lark, attends one screenwriting class and then decides to knock out a screenplay of his own, and as he gives his twin the various plot hints (which are the WORST kind of kitchsy drivel) we can see our main character falling deeper and deeper into the slump.

That's the best bit, because the twin who is not at all serious about his "art" has SO MUCH MORE FUN than the professional. It's infectious. Plus, they banter back and forth about plot, characterization, literary theory, everything you ever talked about in a liberal arts college course.

If you've noticed I haven't mentioned Meryl Streep - that's because she puts forth the same emotive drivel that she always does. She's worthless - but her foil, Chris Cooper, playing the most likeable character in the Orchid Thief - possibly the deepest, most well-drawn character, but that's only because he has your standard "past tragedy" that makes him the current cretin that he is.

And that's what's great about this movie, because it uses all the stage tricks, every element that you've ever been hit with and it comes at you full force with the whole kit'n'kaboodle . . . and you love every minute, because you know what's happening and you feel as though you are part of a movie in the making, you feel as though you are actually writing the story along with our narcissistic screenwriter.

And I wish I could spoil the ending for you, but I won't, because there is one surprise . . . even though the rest has already been mapped out for you.

I tell you, I would love to read the screenplay for this movie.

Check it out. Especially all you liberal arts majors.

VG